I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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