I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
