I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
