used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
