is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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