I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize