I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
