I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
