i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
