i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
