every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
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Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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