oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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