Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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