Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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