i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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