Whod you bang
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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