clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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