i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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