Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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