this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
