she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
