How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
