It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
