Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize