It's a beautiful day for a hangover
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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