Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!