omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!