I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....