This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
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It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
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Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....