She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
