Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
