i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
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Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
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I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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