i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
