I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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