Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.