The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero