I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
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My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
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My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY