He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Farmville is her only friend.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
