the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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