You're my little dorito
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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