shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you win again, gameday.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
