So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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