it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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