I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize