Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
