No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
