I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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