We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
