Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
