What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
