we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder