Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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