remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
