It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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