1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
