Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You can't motorboat a personality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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