I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
