I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
