I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
