I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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