nutella sex= disaster
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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