Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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