Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
